Back… And Forth

Well, this is awkward.

“What happened to your blog?”
“Why don’t you post anymore?”
“What’s wrong?”

I must admit that when I first created “One Bird At A Time” and made the decision to post every day I worried about running out of material to write about. Luckily, things just kept happening and I found plenty I wanted to turn over in my mind, making sense of as I filled the page.  Things are still happening, perhaps even more than before, but the effort of examination may have become too much.  Meeting my daily goal became a little obsessive, and I pre-planned posts for days I knew I’d be busy.  Sometimes I wrote when I needed to be doing other things.

I also found that writing so publicly is a balancing act. I chose to write about things as they affected me, yet I tried to avoid bruising others. Walking on familial eggshells put a bit of a damper on some of the things I could write comfortably about. The kicker about trying to be so diplomatic was that the entries that helped me most were the ones that were somewhat controversial. It’s hard to both please yourself and not embarrass those around you when you enter the blogging world.

I liked seeing my thoughts blossom and finding out what life meant to me. I appreciated friends commenting and sharing insights, whether it was a hearty “Yes! That’s how I feel too!” or pointing out another side to my story. Re-reading old posts reinforced lessons learned so I wouldn’t repeat mistakes and let me look back and see exactly when I turned a particular corner.

When I broke my daily streak at the same time that my life got busier with end of school year activities and plans, I did what was easiest. I quit writing. No one to worry or offend or embarrass, and writing takes time that I couldn’t find, at least the way I do it. I like to let it stew on the page for a while, eventually stirring the the ideas I start with into just the right dish with just the right flavor.

Will I get back to regularly posting? I hope so, with a little more kindness and understanding toward myself.  It’s less effort to let life flow past, largely untasted, unexamined.  After all, that’s what I seem to have been doing most of my adult life.  Lately, however, I find phrases and ideas popping into my head as I try to fall asleep; posts writing themselves in my subconscious.  I miss writing.

I took the path of least resistance, and that has made all the difference.

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3 Comments

Filed under Changes, Dedication, postaday2011, Self-realization, Success/Failure, Writing

3 responses to “Back… And Forth

  1. Oh, do continue writing! But don’t force yourself. Usually, I tend to dislike writing when I force myself like I need to post everyday, or I have to do this and that… I think writing is not about that, writing is about your feelings and the things and ideas you wanted to share. There are those times that there is so much emotion inside of you that you wanted it to share to everyone else who would listen….I guessed, that’s the time when writing is at its best, raw form.

    Just let it flow. 🙂 And good luck!

  2. Lately, however, I find phrases and ideas popping into my head as I try to fall asleep; posts writing themselves in my subconscious.
    +
    once you will find the best style to write that framed for public.

  3. Glad to see you posting again, your posts are an inspiration to me and help me with raising my family

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