Expectations

The chickadees were looking for the bagels smeared with peanut butter and birdseed, but the fat squirrels had stolen all three at the end of last week.  Now that the snow had arrived again and the world was dressed in white, the birds were frantically searching for seed where they remembered it.  My youngest daughter saw the lack and set about making new seed covered bagels to hang. She trudged out into the snowy yard in her pajamas and heavy coat to fulfill their needs, hanging stale mini-pretzels on the lower parts of the bushes in hopes that the squirrels would be satisfied with that and leave the seed to the songbirds.

We all need someone to see what we need and provide it, in one way or another. Too many times I have needed something from someone, only to have a disgruntled thought pop into my head.

“They should know what I need already.  Don’t they see it?”

Then I’m left with the sobering thought that if I don’t say I need something, I probably won’t get it.  Perhaps the wish to have our needs provided for without asking is a remainder from our childhoods, when our mothers and fathers were magical and could anticipate our needs.   They saw what we needed and strove to make the world as idyllic as they could.

Handing out a list of what you want for your birthday or Christmas means you might get exactly what you want, but it seems contrary to the spirit of gift giving to specify what that gift should be.  I’d much rather have the giver be able to see what I like and what I need, and provide it.  That’s asking a lot, I know.  It requires the people around you to really know you and think about you and consider you as they travel through the world.

I am in need of a little mind-reading and magic at times.  If I have to ask for something, it diminishes the return.

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Filed under Family Relationships, Growth, Reflection, Self-realization

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