My kids may not always make the wisest decisions, but that’s usually from lack of experience or information.  I trust them to at least make considered choices.  My uncertainty is not about them, really – more about those that are around them.  That’s more of a crap shoot, in my mind.

Who are your kid’s friends? Who do they look up to, outside the family?  Who are they around all day, when you are not with them?  Can you choose your child’s friends?  Should you even try?  It’s so hard to sit by and watch your children struggle along the rocky road of friendship.  Kids can be mean and unthinking, and want to fit in so much they can shun one child for no reason except to get in with a group of others.  The only thing I have found to do over the years is to give my daughters my ear and my shoulder, and perhaps a tiny bit of wisdom occasionally.  I would so like to arrange things neatly for them, but the world is just not that way.

I have been relieved to see each of my kids eventually settle into wonderful groups of friends.  There will always be those outside influences that may be different than I would want, but I have to let them make their own way and make their own choices, keeping all we have taught them in mind.  Not everything has been easy, certainly, and there were many tears and broken hearts as they grew.  My girls have had to find their way around what seemed to them like insurmountable roadblocks, but it has either made them stronger or taught them a lesson or two.

That leaves me with sturdy, wise children, and that’s all I could ask for.



Filed under Growth, Looking Back, Parenting

3 responses to “Roulette

  1. Having a 15 year old daughter, I totally get what you’re saying, so far, so good as far as her group of friends are concerned. My son, who’s now 20, did have a spell a few years ago, when some of his friends weren’t what I would have chosen, but fortunately he saw through them and soon distanced himself. Like you say, we have to let them make their own way

  2. Can you choose your child’s friends?
    Should you even try?
    we have to accept that Roulette
    (well metaphorically visualized, that topic!)
    and for sure:
    somehow you are inside of your children,
    when they make there decisions.
    the older they are, the more you’ll see.
    my two daughters are 37+39 –
    even the grandchildren have things from us 🙂

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