It’s been quite a dramatic day. Not so much in a “surrounded-by-divas” way, but more of an “in-the-back-row-of-the-chorus” way. If you’ve ever had a day in which nothing seems within your control, you’ll know just what I mean. You know where you are supposed to be, know where your marks are, hit them every time, and still don’t feel like you have made a whit of difference in the production.
It seems like the type of role I am called to perform varies from day to day and season to season. Some days I’m an understudy, thrust into a part without being totally prepared. I flail around, trying to find the opening in the curtain, forget or mis-state lines, and make wrong entrances, while the stars float around me, oblivious. Other days, I do feel like the star; the pivotal character that everyone else has to work around. There are pitfalls to that role as well. You can’t miss a day, “the show must go on”, and you can carry heavy responsibility.
Today was definitely a chorus day; I couldn’t have made an impact on anybody in the audience no matter how well I did. I’m sure someone would have noticed me doing poorly though; someone always does.