New Year’s Eve is a knife’s edge from which I can fall either direction. I’m not sure whether to look back or look forward — so many things have changed this year and will be different next year.
2010 saw the beginnings of a great shift in our family. Everyone moved a step closer to the empty nest I see in our future. We survived the first daughter’s senior year, the second learning to drive, and the third leaving elementary school behind and everything that means. With all that transformation around me, the biggest change for me was actually the process of becoming aware and looking forward rather than just treading water enough to keep my head up. I have been just getting by for too long, without thought beyond the reaction to whatever needed to be done. I’ve been letting moments slip by without notice, and it feels so much better to acknowledge and appreciate things, even as they change.
2011 will be a year of major adjustments for all of us. The first chick will actually leave the nest, the second will go through all the senior activities, including college applications and visits, and the third will start middle school. Each of those things will require different strengths on my part, but rather than just keep up with the changes, I’ll be prepared and looking forward to them. It will be more of an exchange than a change; just moving on to the next phase with eyes and heart wide open.
Up until now, I have been surviving, day to day. Surviving is good; living is better. I intend to do more of that in 2011.